Dreaming.

So I thought things were pretty complicated.
I thought wrong.
Things are far more so now.
It seems like I`m just fading away,
Like I`m useless, that nobody except a few
would actually really miss me in the long run.
Afterall, apparently I`m such a problem, a fuck up
And so much more.
Not meaning to be emotionally distraught, but
Things aren`t even remotely working out.
People that said they`d never leave, left.
People that said they`d always listen, don`t.
People that seemed to care, want nothing to do with me.
I feel disposable.
Why do people lie, just to make their own self worth higher?
To make it seem, and feel like they`re an amazing human being.
How about you people actually try and be there.
How about you guys actually realize when I`m upset, and understand.
Why can`t you guys just do your part, when I try to do mine.
Why does everyone seem so annoyed at me?
Don`t even begin to say that I know why.
I wouldn`t be asking if I already knew.
I`m trying my best, okay, I can only handle so much, especially right now.
I always make myself seem so happy, to make others happy.
I smile, and laugh and try to seem carefree, like everything`s okay.
And sometimes, I even manage to fool myself.
But then there is the times, I can`t.
Times I can even begin to smile, where no happy even exists.
And what do you people do then?
Oh little Ray is sad, so sad.
Why, Lets make her feel worse.
Getting mad at me, when obviously somethings wrong, doesn`t help.
It makes me feel worse, and I often get worse.
Friends are suppose to be their for friends.
They`re suppose to understand.
Do me a favor, learn how.

Thanks to the select few people who actually understand,
And are being friends.