Grinchy.

Love's gunna get you down.
Say love.
Say love.
Oh Love's gunna get you down.

Merry Christmas, I suppose.
=/

Tunes on replay in my head.

I feel numb, and cold.
Like the last cracked, frost bitten leaf blowing precariously in the winter breeze.
I am fragile.
Hanging on barely, by the same frost bitten unforgiving twig attached to the tree.
The winter is silent this year, wrapping it's frigid hands, enclosing me.
It's hard to breathe, to think, to be.

I wish that I could feel the warmth of life, in such a bleak stand-still terrain.

- - - -

<sup>I'll be the thorns on every rose
You've been sent by hope (You'll grow cold)
I am the nightmare waking you up
From the dream of a dream of love (Just like before)

Let me weep you this poem as Heaven's gates close
Paint you my soul, scarred and alone
Waiting for your kiss to take me back home

Hold me
Like you held on to life
When all fears came alive and entombed me
Love me
Like you love the sun
Scorching the blood in my vampire heart</sup>

Noise.

I feel like I'm falling deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole.
I'm so, guilty & upset.
I shouldn't feel bad, that's what people tell me.
But really, I know it's my fault.
This was all my fault.
I'm not going to deny it, and blame someone else.
I don't deserve to feel mad about that one thing, but I do.
I should just repremend myself, but it hurts to know.. that if I hadn't messed up how I did, that would have never happened.
Maybe it would have saved us all some hurt...

Ugh, all these weird upsetting thoughts are clouding my mind.
I feel suffocated, and I know that maybe if I hadn't been so selfish, Maybe everyone would be happier.
:(

I'm so stupid, so so so stupid.
I'm sorry.



This was such a terrible birthday.
I can't believe it..

I'm not valuable.

I'm not happy.
In fact I'm quite un-impressed, disappointed, and hurt.
Your words & actions really hurt and bothered me.
I'm not something you can control.
You can't bitch at me and make me feel like shit for things that haven't happened, won't happen, or because your upset.
I'm allowed to have friends, I'm allowed to see the, and I don't have to confirm everything I do with you.
I'm my own person. I do what I do, and you can't pull little tangents like this just because you don't get your way.
It's not fair to me to be constantly stressed out by what you think.
I should have to change who I see or what I do to make you happy, because when it comes down to it, nothing makes you happy.
You just have a problem with me, and you won't admit it.

I don't deserve this.
I haven't done anything to deserve this.
I just want to be happy.

Dance me across the stage

What a fucking great day.

Why can't you just Leave me be if your just going to break stuff, or hurt yourself.
It's my birthday, and I just want one day where I can be stress free and enjoy it.

Just because your mad at me, doesn't give you the right to wreck our house.
It doesn't give you the right to do all this immature bullshit.

Think about how your acting.
Grow up.

Fuck it.

I can't believe you sometimes.
I honestly can't.

I don't know what to say,
But you AREN'T the same person fropm when I met you.
I'm disappointed in the way you handle things.

Whatever, things will probably just complicated themselves.