Noise.

I feel like I'm falling deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole.
I'm so, guilty & upset.
I shouldn't feel bad, that's what people tell me.
But really, I know it's my fault.
This was all my fault.
I'm not going to deny it, and blame someone else.
I don't deserve to feel mad about that one thing, but I do.
I should just repremend myself, but it hurts to know.. that if I hadn't messed up how I did, that would have never happened.
Maybe it would have saved us all some hurt...

Ugh, all these weird upsetting thoughts are clouding my mind.
I feel suffocated, and I know that maybe if I hadn't been so selfish, Maybe everyone would be happier.
:(

I'm so stupid, so so so stupid.
I'm sorry.



This was such a terrible birthday.
I can't believe it..