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Wow, I haven't posted in here in a while.
Oopsies.
<3
Weel things are fucked again.
Family wise mostly now.
it really sucks.
I'm screwing with my head.
So much.
I don't know who to believe or what to think about anyone here.
family wise of course.
This is fucked.
In other news though, things are pretty deece.
Flutterflies are abundant.
different ones though, than usual.
Ish good?
It is, but it also could totally fuck my head even worse.
this makes no sense.
My mouth infection hurts and is making me dull.
and stupider and angrier.
I've become too angry again.
this isn't me.
I don't like it.
But it's what I do, build angry barriers to keep everyting out and push everything away.
this happens whenever things get bad.
And then, I get upset and making everything leave.
I've become weak towards emotion and human interaction.
I never use to really need other people.
this is fucked.
And yet I still have one intact emotion, for the first time,
In ...forever almost.
Usually the one emotion I have left is far from the current.
Though I'm not complaining.
actually, I'm smiling.
<3
Oh wow, booooorrring.
I get to go shopping, again, today.
Exciting.
I haven't gone major clothes shopping in like,
Forever.
=D
Finally, more articles of coverage,
I'ma happy girlie.
I likies the shopping, especially when I can
finally afford my shopping-ness
Life is complicated, and dramatic,
but I don't care right now.
Mindi is here, finally <3
Blah.
I have SO much to do, to sort everything out.
iick. Gerg, at least I have the money to do it.
For now. I'ma invest in a job soonish, sounds good.
Why is the sun coming out at 4:30am?
wtf.
Anyways.
I'ma sleep, and stuffs, sort though thoughts, and
become slightly more rational and such.
so toodles.
I like pancakes.
Wow, I just had a real enlightening moment.
Like seriously.
I can't even begin to explain it, but it was amazing.\
It's like I got a real good look at everything and what happened,
not recent events but how past events effected me, and changed who
I was, into who I am now. Even all the recent stuff too I guess,
And just.. everything.
It was pretty, just, wow.
I wish I saw things like that more often, It's the frame of mind I try
to keep going, I believe it's healthier.
I think I'm doing a pretty good job, not the best, but alright.
Things will be okay, I think that even with as fucked up as they are,
that they'll get better. I don't know how, or when, but I have confidence,
at least right now, that they will.
What a nice feeling.
Hopefully I stay feeling like this, that would be nice.
My parents were all like, "Were leaving for a while away"
and ended up making a huge scene in front of my friend.
And then ended up going.
And now coming back at 3am.
What the fuck.
Goo thing I didn't have anyone over.
OBVIOUSLY fuckk.
Anndd,
yesterday on the 30th/ tonight, I was suppose to go to the rave.
But I didn't want to go, because things are still all blah I'm guessing.
Kinda sad.
I want to just go and say happy birthday, but I can't.
Hopefully he's having a good time, and his 18th is amazing.
Happy Birthday.
I wish I could say it to you.
Oh my luck is wonderful huh?
The plus side?
I'm not quite too sure, but I think I have an idea.
More bad crap?
It seems as if everyone wants to have a "Talk"
Like I posted in my last blog.
Fuck off people, I don't care if you want a relationship,
I don't care if you feel used, I don't care if I hurt your feelings,
I don't care if whatever it is killed whatever.
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP.
Kthnkx.
Fucking rejects.
Love love to all those un-retarded peoples.
