I feel content and yet I'm screaming.
It's strange, to feel torn.
Things have calmed down, I think,
Either that or I have tuned them out.
Probably the later.
Certain phrases and memories keep running through my mind,
I'm not sure if it's driving me crazy,
or I've already been driven crazy.
"Things are complicated."
Thats what people say.
As each passing day starts and finishes,
I slowly seem to become less and less affectionate.
Less and less everything.
I'm not sure if thats a bad thing, or a good thing.
I'm not complaining though, maybe this is what I need?
My barriers and walls seem to have found a reboot disk.
Not only that though, I seem to have picked up another
Trait as well, Things I love to do, I barely care for now.
This is odd, and concerning. Whats happening to me?
Am I actually letting everything get to me so much,
that I'm shutting everything out, and protecting only myself?
As I said before, maybe this is what I need,
Maybe human interaction and affection is something I can do without.
Definitely. It would sure un-complicate things. Or so I let myself believe.
The summer is almost over. Things are getting colder outside,
Along with myself.
I'm going cold.
And I'm not even doing it on purpose.
It's interesting, being able to sit back and watch,
knowing bits and pieces of the movie before they happen.
Predicting things, and then watching them play out,
and yet always guessing at the ending.
With my change of heart and mind,
I've also gotten rid of other things.
I don't sleep anymore, again.
I haven't touched drugs in a while, though I have lots.
I hardly eat, even though I can again now.
I barely see anyone, even though everyone wants to see me.
I spend all my time at home and on the computer now.
I barely talk to anyone, or even talk in general.
I keep more to myself, in most aspects now.
I've mostly stopped giving hugs and being all cuddly.
It's beginning to disgust me once more.
Only a few people in my mind are alright to hug.
I'm happy my old self has decided to return,
but worried on how it will effect my current life.
Things were so different when I was alone.
We will see I suppose.
Burying the voices once more,
I vow to return to whence I came.
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